RYAN DOYLE

Homeless Summer '96 (Winter Version)

2011-04-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

Since I started grad school I haven't had too much time to record new songs. I have been writing though. Realistically I probably won't have another album's worth of material till about Summer 2012. But I may post an EP sometime this summer. Here's hoping. Till then, I'm posting a new version of my song "Homeless Summer '96" (originally on Motor Works) that I recorded with my buddy Mark Andrew Hamilton from the band Woodpigeon and Jonathan Hong. You can download it below. Let me know what you think. Thanks for listening.

xo Ryan

Homeless Summer '96 by Ryan Doyle - 2011 Download

Homeless Summer '96 (Winter Version)

Cover photo by Emily Villemaire

Ryan Doyle Downloads 2009-11-14T15:56:00.000-08:00 Hey guys. Thanks for visiting my blog. I have four albums that you can download for free below. Enjoy, and thanks for listening. xo Ryan Last.fm Motor Works by Ryan Doyle - 2009 Download The Motor Works In An Empty Room Homeless Summer '96 Three Quarter Day Blues For Jim Flamingo & Pines Campaign To Kill The Sparrows A Jet For A Day More Light On The Bear Suit After My Convalescent Leave All songs by R. Doyle. Old Judgments by Ryan Doyle - 2006 Download Jersey Water Our Hill At Henry Hudson Driftwood and My Baby Lion The Pier, My Lord I Had My Dog Chandeliers All the Whales in the World Blithewood The Science Place All songs by R. Doyle. The Crowd' Train Takes the Form by Ryan Doyle - 2003 Download Peter Blakely Traveling Song The Night That Inspired Your Thesis Ladybug, Ladybug Autopilot But Ours is to Love The Gate's Open, We're Going In (written by A. Churchman) I Should Have Known Better (written by Lennon/McCartney) Wrestling the Russells For D_____ Down Come the Goalposts All songs by R. Doyle except where noted. Masco: Come On Along by Ryan Doyle - 2001 Download Song of Renegades I Used To Write Poetry For an Englishman Fun Robert New Words An Aboveground Poem Onward and Downward I'm On the Roof All songs by R. Doyle. Motor Works Lyrics 2009-10-31T05:36:00.000-07:00 Motor Works by Ryan Doyle The Motor Works in an Empty Room The motor works in an empty room The trigger works a bit too soon There’s an ocean floor on the Acela Express Between Boston and D.C. I been to the 92nd Street Y I been to the Ritz Carlton Hotel What’s it to you If you catch me crying Or I wear your shirt Or I look through your briefcase I could do much worse And you call me Son And I call you Daddy And I pay my rent for June You won’t hold my head but you made me breakfast There, a piece of toast with blackcurrant jam And I trim my privates just the way you like So you can see your boy so new Oh, my bride Baby, you deserve such a fine guitar Ain’t gonna hold my breath like one of them city boys I’m gonna blow it right out Homeless Summer ’96 I kept a journal for the first part of the summer I wasn't hanging around no more And that was the year that our semen turned watery and clear And you took to wearing your father's clothes And abandoned me for The Poconos Oh, how I, untogether Wanted to lie in your field And stray wherever you chose to stray Four days into football some kid swiped my cleats I walked home past the Reich’s Estate And it'd been two years since the conclusion came to you And beyond the gazebo where the boys liked to fight They’d laugh through their teeth and through the night Oh, how I, untogether Wanted to lie in your field Then an airplane exploded in the sky I stopped writing down all my dirty thoughts And vowed to keep my suicides to myself And I renewed my subscription to the wayward magazine And I cursed the wood of my sister's armoire Then I nailed that journal to a tree Oh, how I, untogether Wanted to lie in your field And how we were born a different kind of lamb I started school with a sore on my lip And the white of my eyes burned red And I felt your struggle and the way it passed by my feet And I wished I’d confessed you were the drum of my life Fast to water, fast to light Oh, how I, untogether Wanted to lie in your field And when we undressed, we undressed for good Three Quarter Day Blues Well, I spend my time with the old muscle mag Wishing I shared a smile with the man on the cliff I know my name isn’t Jeremy Sams And I know my body don’t move that a way But I’m waking in the morning all I see is myself again So what are you gonna do? Gonna rub my beard What was I thinking? So on my nights off I like to dance on my own Some nights I go for a walk, some nights I stay home If there’s one thing I learned from living in the city It’s you shouldn’t plan your trip to the moon so soon You better take that hotel job and you can live when your shift is through So what are you gonna do? Gonna bury myself in what I been drinking So I end up in Staten Island in some stranger’s tub He just got laid off from Merrill Lynch so I guess I was feeling sorry for the guy He says, I got Babel on DVD Some porn I got in Amsterdam that’ll blow you away And he’s washing my back but I know I’ll never get it clean again So what are you gonna do? Gonna ruin myself Then I’ll really be sinking So I’m back at my post at The Gentleman’s Club And I’m feeling less tired then I did at the top of the stairs I got my cot and my running shoes My fishing rod, three quarter day blues Anything I want I can fit in my hand When the going gets tough For Jim Oh Jim, just say we’re the same I changed my shirt I changed my name Still it’s kind of you to address me still I must admit I’ve grown attached It’s no big deal most of the time But tonight I just can’t hide it Walking on stilts in the rain We got human eyes now resting sweet I had a tutor once I dream of her but once a year On the anniversary her mother died Now she’s got her city and I’ve got mine Oh, my, you’re looking thin And I’m shut in the room I been sinning in, all right Judas fingers, coast to coast I know you Where the boys swing, I swing There was a fire at The Hartt School A piano major got trapped in the practice room He didn’t call or cause a fuss He just closed the door and went on back To that “Golliwog’s Cakewalk” Walking on stilts in the rain We got human eyes now resting sweet I had a lover once He went wild, wild, wild and crazy kids Once you leave you can’t get shit back Like the night I left my watch in the cul-de-sac And it’s getting cold Dropping names with your crooked truth I know you Where the boys swing, I swing Flamingo & Pines So I’ve read “Everything that Rises Must Converge” And “A Good Man is Hard to Find” But now that I’ve left the university There’s no more books for me to read Just that empty hand So now I gotta get somewhere And I wanna comb my hair The way it used to be when I was free Yeah, and it’s hard when all your love is for just one boy Now I was in love once, sure And I had a granddad too And he told me all about my Gram But now I gotta pack my things And I gotta wear these rings But they’re not who I am Yeah, so I’ve fallen but I never meant to fall this low Campaign to Kill the Sparrows I fell out with my friend At the time it didn’t much bother me I fell out with my baby Now he’s drinking out of some other faggot’s bottle You always felt safe Beneath the awning of your early days And the grandiose mazurkas But beyond all those dolphins Like, swimming through your bloodstream You loved dancing to the music, didn’t you Now kicking in this gray shaped room Past the airport, Wood Island The broken and the heavy and the blue There's an end to the roughhousing There's an end to the debauchery The campaign to kill the sparrows There's a word for loneliness And there’s a word for dizziness And the freedom of throwing bottles in the street And I swore then and out the door I’m gonna take you to the marketplace Gonna walk along the tracks till it gets dark And how I'll scream I hate this train On the gown that my mother made Wasn’t born to hold that babe in my arms All that I could’ve offered him leaning on them shelter doors A Jet for a Day I’ll be a jet for a day And at the top I can see the city from the top of the hill I ain’t got my elbows on the windowsill And at the top I wish I was Kimber Shoop from Broadcast News I still got the Lord I got them baby blues And at the top How come my baby just like the slow song? Schule, schule I-rue Schule I rack-a-shack Schule I barbeque When I sell that salla babba eel* And fa-fa-fa means sad song *These few lines are stolen from the tradition folk song, “I’ll Sell My Hat, I’ll Sell My Coat” that I learned in ear training class back in ’97. More Light on the Bear Suit All you need’s a summer sun All you need’s a toothy smile And away you go And on the clearest dawn to rub up against I pissed your bed Oh, how high we came in the weeds Seven bridges above us The braille of your skin The nail’s in the wood But not a single frame The nail’s in the wood Lazy by the pond With gnats in our ears We were sticky sweet Oh, how I wanted to stay right by your side All the time Till we expired More light on the bear suit On the deer meat On the maps of the world More light on the government On the conduit On the soaking wet More light on the blind girl On the day girl On the baby girl After My Convalescent Leave After my convalescent leave And I’m back to the north And I’m the loneliest cloud left after the storm I’m tired You say I’m always tired When I was a boy I used to ride to the beach I had my Discman I had my CDs And I was dying At least I thought I was Without my hands I thought I’d forget how to love And I brought all my things out to the garage And I brought all my things out to the garage But it was just you and me then Yeah, it was just you and me then I wasn’t built for the spotlight I was built for the wings But I tried Yeah, I tried All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2009 Old Judgments Lyrics 2009-10-31T05:27:00.000-07:00 Old Judgments by Ryan Doyle Jersey Water You can tell me that you're all right if you want to And I'll tell you not to worry even if you ought to You will leave when you're all better We all got to put our cold shirt on. Don't feel the same when I do it myself Like the last kid playing in the swamp. The beautiful twin is dying. I can tell them about Ocean Grove How I'd hide from my lesson And you tell them about the shit you stole And the salt in the air. They call the cops if you're in their yard Just drinking from a garden hose, you were But in your dreams we're a waterslide Go down more often than we do in life, all right. We will leave when we're all better And keep the shoes we have. The sand won't leave the beaches, none Just like summer's just a season. Shiny Camaro in the Seaside Heights, you drive so fast. Love, love, loves a-waiting like my tide'll wait Love, love, loves a-coming like my rocket ship. The beautiful twin is dying. Our Hill At Henry Hudson I see you in this room Doing something wild I say, I don't think you believe all the things you've done to me. We're weird, I'm pretty sure There's no one in this house, you say We might as well take the tour ourselves And then you consciously step onto the stair. We are cool, shadowed grass beneath the trampoline Past our hill at Henry Hudson And the same afternoon you had bowed your head I drew. I'm listening as we go to someone elses prayers, I know The movie starts Oh, never end until the part where we begin to see the light There was a storm when you were born The first sound you heard was rain, I'm sure I clear my throat and shut the door All these gestures have been made before And it's pouring out. What's it mean to be good? I'd live there if I could, you know There's a movie of a busy street In a town where children tap their feet And it does exist. You lived there with your friend She helped you with your beard and swept the kitchen floor A hundred holes The interviewer sails to shore And the movie starts. Driftwood And My Baby So I'm on the other side Come on over. Do you hear what I'm saying? This advantage you have over me is unsettling What would I be besides driftwood and your baby If I hung out with circuit boys/diplomats? I'm sorry, I'm so far away I lost my temper. Lion We never mention the wind But I'll always wonder how it found its way in You offer me some and I take it. From there we go upstairs There's sand in the hallway There's sand in our hair. It gets so dark in the backroom. You say I taste like the sea And, gentle, the saltwater ghosts of us linger. You got a tattoo of a lion. We find our way off to sleep And dream of the truths we have yet to discover. It gets so cold That you can see your breath. Don't say that you're leaving And I won't say that I'm leaving I've got this fear of doors closing Cause once they close they never open again. The Pier, My Lord I wanna die At least for a while And the walks I'll take while no one is around. Would you recommend me to a friend? Cause the walks I'll take, they'll only bring me down. Don't look away My body has swung towards a color we'll all be thinking of When we're tired and gray I'd hate to be there in a while. I should have known with these rusty limbs I'd be swollen for you and everything Ladies, hide me under the pier, my Lord Ladies, hide me under the pier. So if I'm gonna die At least for a while Oh, the walks I'll take while no one is around. Would you recommend me to a friend? Cause the walks I'll take, they'll only bring me down. Oh, look away My body's so plain And, oh, when we used to haunt ourselves so strange We moved by ourselves I'd love to be there for a while. I Had My Dog I had my dog She had her river I found her body hanging on a fence While my mother, she was flying TWA And my daddy was dancing with some other lady. I can't remember all the houses I lived in There's too many to name All the banisters feel the same to me They all lead me down to darker rooms. And on the Turnpike where it hurts to be alone At Mass I saw Father Manning and he asked me how I was When I get grown, I told him I wanna live with my lover I don't want to live with my friend Success might just be what he's after, I don't know. Chandeliers Chandeliers made of wagon wheels Here I go again dreaming up ways your spirit feels And I'm looking down on a house I used to live in My sister cried as we rode by all I could've counted on. Nowhere fast, all the broken glass Blowing all the breath out of your mouth into my mouth And better on the floor than in our memories Anything to conjure up your greatest fears And all I could've counted on. All the Whales in the World So tonight I'm all about what's gone now Now this drink takes the place of my heart Our most vulnerable body part The one that is rarely seen in the daylight. He was my friend, my love, my only true love And I walked right out the door He was my friend, my love, my only true love Saw him walk out the door. But when I past the church I overheard, Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah. Tonight I'm all about what's gone now Now this drink takes the place of my heart Our most vulnerable body part The one that is rarely seen in the daylight. I got my books, my poems All of them words telling me where I ought to go I got my books, my poems But none of them words telling me where I wanna go. But when I past the church I overheard, Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah. I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale and all of the whales in the world I remember one of them about a boy who falls in love without leaving home Now he's singing to a moon that's gone behind a cloud in its summertime. I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale and all of the whales in the world. But when I past the church I overheard, Halleluiah, halleluiah. Blythewood Students used to live inside the mansion in the 60's Tomorrow you will drive over the Tappan Zee Having lodged yourself successfully back into my spokes You drop me off at the photo lab then be on your way. This is how we speak These are all our voices growing old inside us This is why we've come Dressed in clothes all left undone. I photographed this corner Then you sang about it later And the fireworks at Blythewood in the summertime They are accidents, my boy I take them all back to the room so dark. This is where we drink and where we'll never drink again This is where we feel the freest we have ever felt. Hey, you blessed thing who won't ever let me go You left me waiting for your horn and then it came. Crash and burn We drink ourselves into conversation Our tongues soaked with wine And your steady green We are animals, my boy Take me all back to the city blues Wide-open halleluiah landscape. This is where we swim And where we'll never swim again This is where we dive Going down in it three times but we're only coming up twice.* Hey, you cursed thing who won't ever let me go You left me waiting for your horn and then it came. The Science Place One hundred miles away from that big, dusty house I read you so clear and so loud. The unfinished race from Liberty State Park to the science place I can still see the flags from the fire escape. I'm ready now. There's solace here They're sleeping right in Jersey City In Bayonne, were never told but they're dreaming. How I'll go blue and turquoise and Sapphire and Malibu I could've gone the whole way if I wanted to I'm ready now. I'm ready now for the sweetest peach I'm ready now to study stars And I'm ready now to be as old and ordinary as the summertime. And I'm gonna try a new karaoke song And I'm gonna try not living so alone And I'm gonna wait here for this loneliness to leave from my side And it will And it will. And if you want cherry bombs You can have cherry bombs. *this line was stolen from the Hank Williams tune, "Long Gone Lonesome Blues." All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2006 The Crowd’ Train Takes the Form Lyrics 2009-10-31T05:16:00.000-07:00 The Crowd’ Train Takes the Form by Ryan Doyle Peter Blakely So we’ll make do with what we got, an old photo of Peter in the back of a pickup truck. Got the signs, the tambourines, the rowdy lovers in the street who wish the rain on their cheeks were tears. Cause it’s true love, honey. If there were curtains they’d be blowing in the wind. Cause it’s true love, honey. If there was a window there’d be a place for us to sing. Well, if all’s not right then why’s it feel so good to watch you, babe, while you undress. Hun’s gone to the other side of the sky. It’s not coming back for anything, not even to describe your face once more. It’s so sad. So as often as lightning, as comforting as cars can be when they’re your only soft goodnight. And I understand the ways the mean guitars are played by the hardcore kids, all right. Cause the world don’t know what’s right for us, said it’s tearing at your skin. The world don’t know what’s right, it never knew you like I did. It’s a fine place to go when you’re not going to bed and it’s all in our heads anyway. So we count our loves and we count our hates. You’re in the mirror now, so in debt, stroking your fate once more. It’s so sad. I walked to the lake and back, I’m trying not to let it show. It’s a path that can take me from where I am to where I wanna go. Traveling Song I wrote a song called “The Traveling Song.” I played it for my teacher. She said it was a rip-off, a song she used to know. A song she loved in high school back when she was with Ainsley and she could make the flowers bloom with her Chopin Nocturnes she played on her mom’s black baby grand at night. “Play it one more time,” she said. “I miss her laugh the most.” The Night that Inspired Your Thesis The night that inspired your thesis was the night the church caught fire. And I should have told you my secrets. Unlocked the tabernacle, let you taste my wine. Burn, burn the missalettes, the whole town smelled of incense. The night that inspired your thesis was the night before I had to leave for camp. And if this is what it means to die on Fire Island let us stay hungry and naked in your parents’ bed. Dawn, Dawn, don’t leave me here. In this daytime I can’t face myself. Over hills and the nighttime good, smoke made its way into my window, still all I could smell was you, babe. The night that inspired your thesis was the night after the circus packed up its things and left. You and I stood there in the field in pieces, paper plates, wet ticket stubs no good. Gone, gone, the circus’ gone. By then it was on its way up to Freehold. Over hills and the nighttime good. The sound of a train came through my window, still I can hear the acrobats singing their travel songs. Ladybug, Ladybug We stopped telling time. We couldn’t stand to hear ourselves counting up to twelve. By the time you arrived we started making noise. We couldn’t stand to see ourselves sitting here so bored. We’re not just singing for the Lord. This song’s for the ladybug we found on the ground. Ladybug, ladybug. We used to walk through the park. We used to walk through most any place we wanted. We even slept on the roof when the rain let up. We’d wakeup on the beach. The wind would blow us off the roof but we would land on our feet and we’d praise the Lord and the ladybug we found on the ground. Ladybug, ladybug. Oh, don’t let them disintegrate me. Let the whitewater arms of the bells ring. Ladybug, ladybug. Autopilot The girl with cherries in her hair, feathered hats hung on her wall and songs I’d often sleep near when I’m feeling sad or alone. Seventy-eight, don’t you see the delicate light that hit you. Seventy-nine, everything, all the time, I couldn’t wait for your limbs to bend. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of your brother’s room. Please, don’t leave so completely. All I got is a voice I can hardly feel that sings songs so contrived and constructed ‘bout my sad, old heart that refuses to heal. Seventy-eight, don’t you know the colors we’ll see when we’re loving. Seventy-nine, haven’t felt this alive since I was a boy. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of your brother’s room. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of all of your rooms, babe. But Ours Is To Love We’re getting married. We’re getting married. Our country’s just a mirror of us all, it’s not perfect but very good. Still I can’t stand my reflection. They’ll conduct their annual staff meetings. Entarte, entarte kunst! Due to the lack of adequate worship this love is ours anymore. What would I say if all of my words were spoken? What would I do if all of my muscles were working? This love is ours anymore. I’m getting married, just like my mother did and my mother’s mother. The Gate’s Open, We’re Going In (Written by Andrew Churchman) I Should Have Known Better (Written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon) Wrestling the Russells Arise, Arise, wrestling the Russells leaves me bright. Your shoes are tracking mud in all directions, keep them coming. A year and a half spent studying the broken and defeated. You’re humming all your songs, don’t be ashamed to sing the words, we need them. So goodnight, goodnight, from the tops of trees and one day we’ll be sure again that we got every window open, every window open. So goodnight, goodnight, our record has been played and twice turned over. Calling out your name into this notebook’s empty pages. Shaken from the wheels and I want nothing to be nearer. Shaken from the wheels and I want nothing. For D_____ If you come back later, friend, the fables will all rewrite themselves and our arms won’t be as vacant as the downtown is. You’ll give all my goodbyes back and I’ll give you your I love you’s and you can give them to anyone you choose. You and I met at The Dregs in December, you had tassels and forests and clementines. You cued the smiles and exited the guilt, a folly I felt all my life. “Hold on to your skull,” you said, but that’s all I had to offer. The smallest room ever rented out. Summer, then came autumn. And all I can say is, La la la la la la la, cause singing never let you down like I did. Down Come the Goalposts I play that old piano with the damper pedal busted that gestured to me not to worry so. But I can’t remember pieces I knew before. It’s all right. They sold my piano, they took it away yesterday and left me with this space in the living room. I’ve never seen something so beautiful be so gone. Tea and sympathy, can I rest my troubles here? Shiny, all shiny, don’t tie your fortunes to the power structure tonight, under stadium lights shining through my window. Thy kingdom un-comfort, wild are bees in the summer. “Dawn, I love you” was written on the overpass before she washed away all onto the cars. Speeding down 35 I still know who you are. It’s all right. Later that morning I filled up the living room with a wild love and all my leviathans. Have you ever known someone so beautiful could be so wrong? Now coke and sympathy, we all rest our troubles here on the jetties that are overflowing, where every line comes with its own avalanche. I miss you already. Your Caroline’s my Miss Roma-Scott. I’d scale these city walls if there were city walls. I’d jump this curb and I’d be shiny, all shiny. There was shit in the gutter of our honeymoon. Why did we bother? Cause wild are bees in the summer. All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2003 except where noted.