Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Ryan Doyle Downloads
Hey guys. Thanks for visiting my blog. I have four albums that you can download for free below. Enjoy, and thanks for listening. xo Ryan
Motor Works by Ryan Doyle - 2009
Download
All songs by R. Doyle.
Old Judgments by Ryan Doyle - 2006
Download
All songs by R. Doyle.
The Crowd' Train Takes the Form by Ryan Doyle - 2003
Download
All songs by R. Doyle except where noted.
Masco: Come On Along by Ryan Doyle - 2001
Download
All songs by R. Doyle.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Motor Works Lyrics
Motor Works by Ryan Doyle
The Motor Works in an Empty Room
The motor works in an empty room
The trigger works a bit too soon
There’s an ocean floor on the Acela Express
Between Boston and D.C.
I been to the 92nd Street Y
I been to the Ritz Carlton Hotel
What’s it to you
If you catch me crying
Or I wear your shirt
Or I look through your briefcase
I could do much worse
And you call me Son
And I call you Daddy
And I pay my rent for June
You won’t hold my head but you made me breakfast
There, a piece of toast with blackcurrant jam
And I trim my privates just the way you like
So you can see your boy so new
Oh, my bride
Baby, you deserve such a fine guitar
Ain’t gonna hold my breath like one of them city boys
I’m gonna blow it right out
Homeless Summer ’96
I kept a journal for the first part of the summer
I wasn't hanging around no more
And that was the year that our semen turned watery and clear
And you took to wearing your father's clothes
And abandoned me for The Poconos
Oh, how I, untogether
Wanted to lie in your field
And stray wherever you chose to stray
Four days into football some kid swiped my cleats
I walked home past the Reich’s Estate
And it'd been two years since the conclusion came to you
And beyond the gazebo where the boys liked to fight
They’d laugh through their teeth and through the night
Oh, how I, untogether
Wanted to lie in your field
Then an airplane exploded in the sky
I stopped writing down all my dirty thoughts
And vowed to keep my suicides to myself
And I renewed my subscription to the wayward magazine
And I cursed the wood of my sister's armoire
Then I nailed that journal to a tree
Oh, how I, untogether
Wanted to lie in your field
And how we were born a different kind of lamb
I started school with a sore on my lip
And the white of my eyes burned red
And I felt your struggle and the way it passed by my feet
And I wished I’d confessed you were the drum of my life
Fast to water, fast to light
Oh, how I, untogether
Wanted to lie in your field
And when we undressed, we undressed for good
Three Quarter Day Blues
Well, I spend my time with the old muscle mag
Wishing I shared a smile with the man on the cliff
I know my name isn’t Jeremy Sams
And I know my body don’t move that a way
But I’m waking in the morning all I see is myself again
So what are you gonna do?
Gonna rub my beard
What was I thinking?
So on my nights off I like to dance on my own
Some nights I go for a walk, some nights I stay home
If there’s one thing I learned from living in the city
It’s you shouldn’t plan your trip to the moon so soon
You better take that hotel job and you can live when your shift is through
So what are you gonna do?
Gonna bury myself in what I been drinking
So I end up in Staten Island in some stranger’s tub
He just got laid off from Merrill Lynch so I guess I was feeling sorry for the guy
He says, I got Babel on DVD
Some porn I got in Amsterdam that’ll blow you away
And he’s washing my back but I know I’ll never get it clean again
So what are you gonna do?
Gonna ruin myself
Then I’ll really be sinking
So I’m back at my post at The Gentleman’s Club
And I’m feeling less tired then I did at the top of the stairs
I got my cot and my running shoes
My fishing rod, three quarter day blues
Anything I want I can fit in my hand
When the going gets tough
For Jim
Oh Jim, just say we’re the same
I changed my shirt
I changed my name
Still it’s kind of you to address me still
I must admit I’ve grown attached
It’s no big deal most of the time
But tonight I just can’t hide it
Walking on stilts in the rain
We got human eyes now resting sweet
I had a tutor once
I dream of her but once a year
On the anniversary her mother died
Now she’s got her city and I’ve got mine
Oh, my, you’re looking thin
And I’m shut in the room I been sinning in, all right
Judas fingers, coast to coast
I know you
Where the boys swing, I swing
There was a fire at The Hartt School
A piano major got trapped in the practice room
He didn’t call or cause a fuss
He just closed the door and went on back
To that “Golliwog’s Cakewalk”
Walking on stilts in the rain
We got human eyes now resting sweet
I had a lover once
He went wild, wild, wild and crazy kids
Once you leave you can’t get shit back
Like the night I left my watch in the cul-de-sac
And it’s getting cold
Dropping names with your crooked truth
I know you
Where the boys swing, I swing
Flamingo & Pines
So I’ve read “Everything that Rises Must Converge”
And “A Good Man is Hard to Find”
But now that I’ve left the university
There’s no more books for me to read
Just that empty hand
So now I gotta get somewhere
And I wanna comb my hair
The way it used to be when I was free
Yeah, and it’s hard when all your love is for just one boy
Now I was in love once, sure
And I had a granddad too
And he told me all about my Gram
But now I gotta pack my things
And I gotta wear these rings
But they’re not who I am
Yeah, so I’ve fallen but I never meant to fall this low
Campaign to Kill the Sparrows
I fell out with my friend
At the time it didn’t much bother me
I fell out with my baby
Now he’s drinking out of some other faggot’s bottle
You always felt safe
Beneath the awning of your early days
And the grandiose mazurkas
But beyond all those dolphins
Like, swimming through your bloodstream
You loved dancing to the music, didn’t you
Now kicking in this gray shaped room
Past the airport, Wood Island
The broken and the heavy and the blue
There's an end to the roughhousing
There's an end to the debauchery
The campaign to kill the sparrows
There's a word for loneliness
And there’s a word for dizziness
And the freedom of throwing bottles in the street
And I swore then and out the door
I’m gonna take you to the marketplace
Gonna walk along the tracks till it gets dark
And how I'll scream I hate this train
On the gown that my mother made
Wasn’t born to hold that babe in my arms
All that I could’ve offered him leaning on them shelter doors
A Jet for a Day
I’ll be a jet for a day
And at the top
I can see the city from the top of the hill
I ain’t got my elbows on the windowsill
And at the top
I wish I was Kimber Shoop from Broadcast News
I still got the Lord
I got them baby blues
And at the top
How come my baby just like the slow song?
Schule, schule I-rue
Schule I rack-a-shack
Schule I barbeque
When I sell that salla babba eel*
And fa-fa-fa means sad song
*These few lines are stolen from the tradition folk song, “I’ll Sell My Hat, I’ll Sell My Coat” that I learned in ear training class back in ’97.
More Light on the Bear Suit
All you need’s a summer sun
All you need’s a toothy smile
And away you go
And on the clearest dawn to rub up against
I pissed your bed
Oh, how high we came in the weeds
Seven bridges above us
The braille of your skin
The nail’s in the wood
But not a single frame
The nail’s in the wood
Lazy by the pond
With gnats in our ears
We were sticky sweet
Oh, how I wanted to stay right by your side
All the time
Till we expired
More light on the bear suit
On the deer meat
On the maps of the world
More light on the government
On the conduit
On the soaking wet
More light on the blind girl
On the day girl
On the baby girl
After My Convalescent Leave
After my convalescent leave
And I’m back to the north
And I’m the loneliest cloud left after the storm
I’m tired
You say I’m always tired
When I was a boy I used to ride to the beach
I had my Discman
I had my CDs
And I was dying
At least I thought I was
Without my hands I thought I’d forget how to love
And I brought all my things out to the garage
And I brought all my things out to the garage
But it was just you and me then
Yeah, it was just you and me then
I wasn’t built for the spotlight
I was built for the wings
But I tried
Yeah, I tried
All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2009
Old Judgments Lyrics
Old Judgments by Ryan Doyle
Jersey Water
You can tell me that you're all right if you want to
And I'll tell you not to worry even if you ought to
You will leave when you're all better
We all got to put our cold shirt on.
Don't feel the same when I do it myself
Like the last kid playing in the swamp.
The beautiful twin is dying.
I can tell them about Ocean Grove
How I'd hide from my lesson
And you tell them about the shit you stole
And the salt in the air.
They call the cops if you're in their yard
Just drinking from a garden hose, you were
But in your dreams we're a waterslide
Go down more often than we do in life, all right.
We will leave when we're all better
And keep the shoes we have.
The sand won't leave the beaches, none
Just like summer's just a season.
Shiny Camaro in the Seaside Heights, you drive so fast.
Love, love, loves a-waiting like my tide'll wait
Love, love, loves a-coming like my rocket ship.
The beautiful twin is dying.
Our Hill At Henry Hudson
I see you in this room
Doing something wild
I say, I don't think you believe all the things you've done to me.
We're weird, I'm pretty sure
There's no one in this house, you say
We might as well take the tour ourselves
And then you consciously step onto the stair.
We are cool, shadowed grass beneath the trampoline
Past our hill at Henry Hudson
And the same afternoon you had bowed your head
I drew.
I'm listening as we go to someone elses prayers, I know
The movie starts
Oh, never end until the part where we begin to see the light
There was a storm when you were born
The first sound you heard was rain, I'm sure
I clear my throat and shut the door
All these gestures have been made before
And it's pouring out.
What's it mean to be good?
I'd live there if I could, you know
There's a movie of a busy street
In a town where children tap their feet
And it does exist.
You lived there with your friend
She helped you with your beard and swept the kitchen floor
A hundred holes
The interviewer sails to shore
And the movie starts.
Driftwood And My Baby
So I'm on the other side
Come on over.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
This advantage you have over me is unsettling
What would I be besides driftwood and your baby
If I hung out with circuit boys/diplomats?
I'm sorry, I'm so far away
I lost my temper.
Lion
We never mention the wind
But I'll always wonder how it found its way in
You offer me some and I take it.
From there we go upstairs
There's sand in the hallway
There's sand in our hair.
It gets so dark in the backroom.
You say I taste like the sea
And, gentle, the saltwater ghosts of us linger.
You got a tattoo of a lion.
We find our way off to sleep
And dream of the truths we have yet to discover.
It gets so cold
That you can see your breath.
Don't say that you're leaving
And I won't say that I'm leaving
I've got this fear of doors closing
Cause once they close they never open again.
The Pier, My Lord
I wanna die
At least for a while
And the walks I'll take while no one is around.
Would you recommend me to a friend?
Cause the walks I'll take, they'll only bring me down.
Don't look away
My body has swung towards a color we'll all be thinking of
When we're tired and gray
I'd hate to be there in a while.
I should have known with these rusty limbs
I'd be swollen for you and everything
Ladies, hide me under the pier, my Lord
Ladies, hide me under the pier.
So if I'm gonna die
At least for a while
Oh, the walks I'll take while no one is around.
Would you recommend me to a friend?
Cause the walks I'll take, they'll only bring me down.
Oh, look away
My body's so plain
And, oh, when we used to haunt ourselves so strange
We moved by ourselves
I'd love to be there for a while.
I Had My Dog
I had my dog
She had her river
I found her body hanging on a fence
While my mother, she was flying TWA
And my daddy was dancing with some other lady.
I can't remember all the houses I lived in
There's too many to name
All the banisters feel the same to me
They all lead me down to darker rooms.
And on the Turnpike where it hurts to be alone
At Mass I saw Father Manning and he asked me how I was
When I get grown, I told him
I wanna live with my lover
I don't want to live with my friend
Success might just be what he's after, I don't know.
Chandeliers
Chandeliers made of wagon wheels
Here I go again dreaming up ways your spirit feels
And I'm looking down on a house I used to live in
My sister cried as we rode by all I could've counted on.
Nowhere fast, all the broken glass
Blowing all the breath out of your mouth into my mouth
And better on the floor than in our memories
Anything to conjure up your greatest fears
And all I could've counted on.
All the Whales in the World
So tonight I'm all about what's gone now
Now this drink takes the place of my heart
Our most vulnerable body part
The one that is rarely seen in the daylight.
He was my friend, my love, my only true love
And I walked right out the door
He was my friend, my love, my only true love
Saw him walk out the door.
But when I past the church I overheard,
Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah.
Tonight I'm all about what's gone now
Now this drink takes the place of my heart
Our most vulnerable body part
The one that is rarely seen in the daylight.
I got my books, my poems
All of them words telling me where I ought to go
I got my books, my poems
But none of them words telling me where I wanna go.
But when I past the church I overheard,
Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah.
I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale and all of the whales in the world
I remember one of them about a boy who falls in love without leaving home
Now he's singing to a moon that's gone behind a cloud in its summertime.
I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale and all of the whales in the world.
But when I past the church I overheard,
Halleluiah, halleluiah.
Blythewood
Students used to live inside the mansion in the 60's
Tomorrow you will drive over the Tappan Zee
Having lodged yourself successfully back into my spokes
You drop me off at the photo lab then be on your way.
This is how we speak
These are all our voices growing old inside us
This is why we've come
Dressed in clothes all left undone.
I photographed this corner
Then you sang about it later
And the fireworks at Blythewood in the summertime
They are accidents, my boy
I take them all back to the room so dark.
This is where we drink and where we'll never drink again
This is where we feel the freest we have ever felt.
Hey, you blessed thing who won't ever let me go
You left me waiting for your horn and then it came.
Crash and burn
We drink ourselves into conversation
Our tongues soaked with wine
And your steady green
We are animals, my boy
Take me all back to the city blues
Wide-open halleluiah landscape.
This is where we swim
And where we'll never swim again
This is where we dive
Going down in it three times but we're only coming up twice.*
Hey, you cursed thing who won't ever let me go
You left me waiting for your horn and then it came.
The Science Place
One hundred miles away from that big, dusty house
I read you so clear and so loud.
The unfinished race from Liberty State Park to the science place
I can still see the flags from the fire escape.
I'm ready now.
There's solace here
They're sleeping right in Jersey City
In Bayonne, were never told but they're dreaming.
How I'll go blue and turquoise and Sapphire and Malibu
I could've gone the whole way if I wanted to
I'm ready now.
I'm ready now for the sweetest peach
I'm ready now to study stars
And I'm ready now to be as old and ordinary as the summertime.
And I'm gonna try a new karaoke song
And I'm gonna try not living so alone
And I'm gonna wait here for this loneliness to leave from my side
And it will
And it will.
And if you want cherry bombs
You can have cherry bombs.
*this line was stolen from the Hank Williams tune, "Long Gone Lonesome Blues."
All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2006
The Crowd’ Train Takes the Form Lyrics
The Crowd’ Train Takes the Form by Ryan Doyle
Peter Blakely
So we’ll make do with what we got, an old photo of Peter in the back of a pickup truck. Got the signs, the tambourines, the rowdy lovers in the street who wish the rain on their cheeks were tears. Cause it’s true love, honey. If there were curtains they’d be blowing in the wind. Cause it’s true love, honey. If there was a window there’d be a place for us to sing. Well, if all’s not right then why’s it feel so good to watch you, babe, while you undress. Hun’s gone to the other side of the sky. It’s not coming back for anything, not even to describe your face once more. It’s so sad. So as often as lightning, as comforting as cars can be when they’re your only soft goodnight. And I understand the ways the mean guitars are played by the hardcore kids, all right. Cause the world don’t know what’s right for us, said it’s tearing at your skin. The world don’t know what’s right, it never knew you like I did. It’s a fine place to go when you’re not going to bed and it’s all in our heads anyway. So we count our loves and we count our hates. You’re in the mirror now, so in debt, stroking your fate once more. It’s so sad. I walked to the lake and back, I’m trying not to let it show. It’s a path that can take me from where I am to where I wanna go.
Traveling Song
I wrote a song called “The Traveling Song.” I played it for my teacher. She said it was a rip-off, a song she used to know. A song she loved in high school back when she was with Ainsley and she could make the flowers bloom with her Chopin Nocturnes she played on her mom’s black baby grand at night. “Play it one more time,” she said. “I miss her laugh the most.”
The Night that Inspired Your Thesis
The night that inspired your thesis was the night the church caught fire. And I should have told you my secrets. Unlocked the tabernacle, let you taste my wine. Burn, burn the missalettes, the whole town smelled of incense. The night that inspired your thesis was the night before I had to leave for camp. And if this is what it means to die on Fire Island let us stay hungry and naked in your parents’ bed. Dawn, Dawn, don’t leave me here. In this daytime I can’t face myself. Over hills and the nighttime good, smoke made its way into my window, still all I could smell was you, babe. The night that inspired your thesis was the night after the circus packed up its things and left. You and I stood there in the field in pieces, paper plates, wet ticket stubs no good. Gone, gone, the circus’ gone. By then it was on its way up to Freehold. Over hills and the nighttime good. The sound of a train came through my window, still I can hear the acrobats singing their travel songs.
Ladybug, Ladybug
We stopped telling time. We couldn’t stand to hear ourselves counting up to twelve. By the time you arrived we started making noise. We couldn’t stand to see ourselves sitting here so bored. We’re not just singing for the Lord. This song’s for the ladybug we found on the ground. Ladybug, ladybug. We used to walk through the park. We used to walk through most any place we wanted. We even slept on the roof when the rain let up. We’d wakeup on the beach. The wind would blow us off the roof but we would land on our feet and we’d praise the Lord and the ladybug we found on the ground. Ladybug, ladybug. Oh, don’t let them disintegrate me. Let the whitewater arms of the bells ring. Ladybug, ladybug.
Autopilot
The girl with cherries in her hair, feathered hats hung on her wall and songs I’d often sleep near when I’m feeling sad or alone. Seventy-eight, don’t you see the delicate light that hit you. Seventy-nine, everything, all the time, I couldn’t wait for your limbs to bend. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of your brother’s room. Please, don’t leave so completely. All I got is a voice I can hardly feel that sings songs so contrived and constructed ‘bout my sad, old heart that refuses to heal. Seventy-eight, don’t you know the colors we’ll see when we’re loving. Seventy-nine, haven’t felt this alive since I was a boy. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of your brother’s room. Hey, I’m a wreck-it-all. Hey, hey, hey, I’m on the floor of all of your rooms, babe.
But Ours Is To Love
We’re getting married. We’re getting married. Our country’s just a mirror of us all, it’s not perfect but very good. Still I can’t stand my reflection. They’ll conduct their annual staff meetings. Entarte, entarte kunst! Due to the lack of adequate worship this love is ours anymore. What would I say if all of my words were spoken? What would I do if all of my muscles were working? This love is ours anymore. I’m getting married, just like my mother did and my mother’s mother.
The Gate’s Open, We’re Going In (Written by Andrew Churchman)
I Should Have Known Better (Written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon)
Wrestling the Russells
Arise, Arise, wrestling the Russells leaves me bright. Your shoes are tracking mud in all directions, keep them coming. A year and a half spent studying the broken and defeated. You’re humming all your songs, don’t be ashamed to sing the words, we need them. So goodnight, goodnight, from the tops of trees and one day we’ll be sure again that we got every window open, every window open. So goodnight, goodnight, our record has been played and twice turned over. Calling out your name into this notebook’s empty pages. Shaken from the wheels and I want nothing to be nearer. Shaken from the wheels and I want nothing.
For D_____
If you come back later, friend, the fables will all rewrite themselves and our arms won’t be as vacant as the downtown is. You’ll give all my goodbyes back and I’ll give you your I love you’s and you can give them to anyone you choose. You and I met at The Dregs in December, you had tassels and forests and clementines. You cued the smiles and exited the guilt, a folly I felt all my life. “Hold on to your skull,” you said, but that’s all I had to offer. The smallest room ever rented out. Summer, then came autumn. And all I can say is, La la la la la la la, cause singing never let you down like I did.
Down Come the Goalposts
I play that old piano with the damper pedal busted that gestured to me not to worry so. But I can’t remember pieces I knew before. It’s all right. They sold my piano, they took it away yesterday and left me with this space in the living room. I’ve never seen something so beautiful be so gone. Tea and sympathy, can I rest my troubles here? Shiny, all shiny, don’t tie your fortunes to the power structure tonight, under stadium lights shining through my window. Thy kingdom un-comfort, wild are bees in the summer. “Dawn, I love you” was written on the overpass before she washed away all onto the cars. Speeding down 35 I still know who you are. It’s all right. Later that morning I filled up the living room with a wild love and all my leviathans. Have you ever known someone so beautiful could be so wrong? Now coke and sympathy, we all rest our troubles here on the jetties that are overflowing, where every line comes with its own avalanche. I miss you already. Your Caroline’s my Miss Roma-Scott. I’d scale these city walls if there were city walls. I’d jump this curb and I’d be shiny, all shiny. There was shit in the gutter of our honeymoon. Why did we bother? Cause wild are bees in the summer.
All songs written by Ryan Doyle © 2003 except where noted.
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